i wish i could have a conversation with somebody who understood the complexity of my thoughts.
i can’t sleep so i’m hoping this helps. sometimes i wish i never owned a computer through out my life. the internet ruined my life. i wish i grew up in a more social generation where interactions occurred with voices rather than @s, #s, and emails.
i wish i never started smoking. i wish i still had the ambition, drive, and work ethic i possessed before i started smoking. i wish i had my outlook on life that made up my mind state before i started smoking. it breaks my heart that to too many people, no matter what i accomplish, whether grand or small; i will always be the smoker.
i wish life made more sense to me. i wish i wasn’t 19. i wish i was happier. i wish i could’ve had a final conversation with my uncle brad. i wish i had a different thought process.
i wish i wasn’t me. but i am. so fuck.
life
i, nor has one of my roommates, done one of these in what seems like forever. i genuinely had such a fantastic day today that i thought i had to bring this series back at least to transcribe this morning. i woke up at noon naturally, no alarm. upon waking up, i showered and drove to my best friend mark’s house and picked him up. from there, we proceeded to our friend anna’s house where we took her dog rosie on a walk to a camp site ten minutes from her house. after three months of the clusterfuck the lifestyle of chicago, the peacefulness and tranquility of sitting on a bench watching the wind change the direction and speed of the ripples in the water with no one else surrounding us was truly special. it was a blessing to have the time to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate the simplest things in life. today was without a doubt my favorite day of november so far.
